


Dang, Dang, Diggity-Dang-A-Dang

by Violent_Bulldog



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, Gay, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, JD isn't a murderer...yet, Other, teenagers being dumb, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-10 13:28:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18661348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violent_Bulldog/pseuds/Violent_Bulldog
Summary: These teenagers aren't ready to face the real worldLet's see how their lives are as they make their way to graduation





	1. Chapter 1

**_Tuesday, 0735_ **

 

 

_V. Sawyer added H. Chandler, H. Duke, H. McNamara, J. Dean, M. Dunnstock and B. Finn to a chat_

_V. Sawyer named the chat **'please become friends so I can breathe again??'**_

 

_H. Duke:_ absolutely not

_H. McNamara:_ ducky be nice

_J. Dean:_ i will kill all of you instead

_V. Sawyer:_ can you not be a psycho for ten seconds??

_J. Dean:_ no

_H. Duke has changed J. Dean's name to Trenchcoat Psycho_

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ ah look

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ my first victim

_H. Duke:_ can't kill me if i kill myself first

_H. McNamara:_ DUCKY NO

_V. Sawyer has changed H. Duke's name to Ducky_

_Ducky:_ i will team up with trenchcoat kid to end you all

_Ducky:_ including Mac

_H. McNamara:_ nooooo plz

_H. McNamara:_ i love you, don't end me

_Ducky:_ ...damn you

_B. Finn:_ why are we still here?

_Ducky:_ just to suffer?

_B. Finn:_ i'll be her friend

_B. Finn:_ she's a meme artist like me

_Ducky:_ friends??

_Ducky:_ what is a friend?

_H. McNamara:_ wow i'm hurt

_Ducky:_ you're my girlfriend, that's different!

_H. McNamara:_ what about Heather?

_Ducky:_ she's too scary to be anyone's friend

_V. Sawyer has changed H. Chandler's name to Scary Demon_

_Scary Demon:_ i wasn't even here and i got attacked??

_V. Sawyer:_ <3

_Scary Demon:_ i will hurt you

_V. Sawyer:_ :'(

_Scary Demon:_ don't be sad

_Scary Demon:_ i dont know how to deal with sad people

_B. Finn:_ okay mood

_Ducky:_ rt

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ rt

_M. Dunnstock:_ you all need therapy

_H. McNamara:_ true

_H. McNamara:_ also, Hi Martha!

_M. Dunnstock:_ oh hi!

_M. Dunnstock:_ nobody ever notices me

_M. Dunnstock:_ i feel appreciated <3<3<3

_H. McNamara:_ <3<3

**_M. Dunnstock has gone offline_ **

_Ducky:_ nOtIcE mE sEnPaI

_B. Finn:_ yes, i love this one

_H. McNamara:_ nope, she's mine

_Ducky changed H. McNamara's name to Possessive_

_Possessive:_ you got that darn right

_V. Sawyer:_ shes so precious

_V. Sawyer:_ she needs to be protected from the world

_Possessive:_ ??????

_Ducky:_ you don't swear

_Ducky:_ you = precious

_Possessive:_ <3

_Ducky:_ <£

_Ducky:_ wait no

_Ducky:_ <3

_V. Sawyer:_ <£

_Scary Demon:_ <£

_B. Finn:_ <£

_Ducky:_ sTOP BULLYING ME

_Ducky:_ thiS IS HoMOphOBIa

_B. Finn:_ everyone who said that is gay

_V. Sawyer:_ bitch

_B. Finn:_ oR IN A GAY RELATIONSHIP

_V. Sawyer:_ better

_B. Finn changed V. Sawyer's name to Bye_

_Bye:_ wow

_Ducky:_ yes

_Ducky:_ she is my second favourite person here

_Scary Demon:_ ew

_Bye:_ gross

_B. Finn:_ *in a Scottish accent* DiSgUsTaNg

_Ducky:_ okay, rude but good meme usage

_Bye:_ you sound like a teacher

_Ducky:_ what fucking teacher talks about memes????

_Bye:_ history can be fun

_Ducky:_ IM IN YOUR HISTORY CLASS WHAT THE FUCKKKK

_Possessive:_ are any of you guys gonna come to school or...?

_Bye:_ huh

_Possessive:_ class starts in twenty minutes

_Ducky:_ OH

_Bye:_ SHIT

_Scary Demon:_ really?

_Scary Demon:_ you two are actual disasters

_Bye:_ Bisasters thank you very much

_Scary Demon:_ can JD kill me now?

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ y e s

_Bye:_ JASON CHRISTOPHER DEAN I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU HURT HER I WILL BAN YOU FROM 7/11

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ i-

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ fine... i need my 7/11

_Scary Demon:_ guess i'll raid the chemistry lab

_Scary Demon:_ they've gotta have some good shit

_Bye:_ heather fucking chandler i will throw your scrunchie into the boys bathroom

_Scary Demon:_ won't matter if im dead

_Scary Demon: **draino.jpg**_

_Bye:_ HEATHER NO

_Ducky:_ umm...... this isn't good

_Possessive:_ on it!

_Scary Demon:_ what does that mean??

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ i can see the headlines now

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ 'The Wicked Witch Of The West Is Dead!!!'

_Bye:_ YOU'RE NOT HELPING HERE

_Bye:_ FINNA FUCKING CRY NOW

**_Trenchcoat Psycho has gone offline_ **

_Possessive:_ target acquired

_Ducky:_ i'm scared?

_Ducky:_ for many reasons

_Scary Demon:_ fuckin

_Scary Demon:_ WHEN DID YOU GET SO DAMN STRONG MAC!!!!

_Possessive:_ ;)

_Scary Demon:_ help

_Scary Demon:_ she's tied me to a chair

_Ducky:_ hsKSKDSJS

_Bye:_ i-

_Bye:_ kinky

_B. Finn:_ y'all... there's gonna be a class there soon

_Possessive:_ nope no class in this chem lab till third period

_Scary Demon:_ you are not leaving me here till third period

_Scary Demon:_ gET THE FUCK BACK HERE

_Scary Demon:_ HEATHER I SWEAR TO GOD

_Possessive:_ hmm?

_Ducky:_ y'all hear somethin?

_Bye:_ did you actually leave her there?

_Possessive:_ yes

_Scary Demon:_ SAWYER HELP ME

_Scary Demon:_ THIS IS NOT COOL

_Bye:_ don't threaten to kill yourself then you dipsHIT

_Scary Demon:_ FINE OKAY NOW COME HELP ME

_Bye:_ hmmmm

_Scary Demon:_ IM NOT BEGGING YOU BEFORE YOU SAY IT

_Bye:_ that's not what you said last night but okay

_Scary Demon:_ ... i will actually drink it now

_Bye:_ nO

_Possessive:_ she can't reach it, you're fine

_B. Finn:_ draino hurts when you drink it

_Bye:_ how the fuck do you know

_B. Finn:_ don't underestimate me

_Bye changed B. Finn's name to Underestimated_

_Underestimated:_ understandable, have a good day

_Ducky:_ begging huh chandler

_Ducky:_ hmmmmmm

_Scary Demon:_ i will fucking ruin you

_Ducky:_ say that to Ronnie and you're golden

_Bye:_ HSKSKSKKS

_Scary Demon changed Ducky's name to I wet the bed till i was thirteen_

_I wet the bed till i was thirteen:_ AHHHHHHHHHHH

_I wet the bed till i was thirteen:_ I HATE YOY

_I wet the bed till i was thirteen:_ YOU ASSHOLE HHSHKSWFJ

_Possessive changed I wet the bed till i was thirteen's name to Quack_

_Quack:_ i'm going home

_Quack:_ goodbYE

**_Quack has gone offline_ **

_Bye:_ i'm leaving you up there now

_Scary Demon:_ noooooooo, please

_Scary Demon:_ ronnie please

_Bye:_ fine...

_Bye:_ you're also quoting yourself from last night

_Scary Demon:_ I-

**_Scary Demon has gone offline_ **


	2. Chapter 2

 

** _Tuesday, 1130_ **

 

_Quack:_ It's third period now bish

_Quack:_ hope your girl got you out 

_Quack:_ or else this would be hilarious

_Possessive:_ they're out

_Possessive:_ they did something else too...

_Quack:_ huh

_Quack:_ oh

_Quack:_ oH

_Quack:_ wait, how do you know

_Possessive:_ My Spanish class is below that room

_Quack:_ shkSKSJFK

_Possessive:_ we all heard

_Possessive:_ e v e r y t h i n g

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ never wanted to hear one of my friends fucking 

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ but here we are

_Quack:_ god, kinda glad that I went home now

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ btw Chandler is a huge bottom

_Quack:_ hKSKSKSEZSD

_M. Dunnstock:_ they will both log on and see this

_M. Dunnstock:_ you know that, right?

_Quack:_ ...

_Possessive:_ ...

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ uhhh

_Trenchcoat Psycho changed M. Dunnstock's name to mOtHeR_

_mOtHeR:_ just because you have mommy issues

_Trenchcoat Psycho:_ I-

_**Trenchcoat Psycho has gone offline** _

_Underestimated:_ exposed

_Underestimated:_ everyone has been exposed

_Underestimated:_ i have soooo much blackmail material now

_Possessive:_ should we be scared?

_Underestimated:_ maybe...?

_Underestimated:_ i have an idea

_Underestimated:_ it will probably end in my death

_Quack:_ ???

_Underestimated has changed Scary Demon's name to Bottom_

_Underestimated has changed Bye's name to KiNkY_

_Underestimated has locked Bottom and KiNkY's names_

_Quack:_ OH MY GOD

_Possessive:_ OH NOOOO

_Underestimated:_ Veronica is gonna regret giving me all admin rights

_KiNkY:_ AHHHHHHHH

_KiNkY:_ I HATE

_KiNkY:_ ALL OF YOU

_Quack:_ this is better than Netflix

_KiNkY:_ B E T T Y 

_KiNkY:_ YOUR DEAD TO ME

_Underestimated:_ you're*

_KiNkY:_ BITVHHHH

_Quack:_ bitvh

_Possessive:_ bitvh

_KiNkY:_ SHUT UP HEATHERS

_Quack:_ plural

_KiNkY:_ i hate everyone in this chat

_KiNkY:_ except Martha

_KiNkY:_ and sometimes Chandler

_Possessive:_ speaking of her

_Quack:_ why isn't she answering

_KiNkY:_ bECAUSE SOME OF US ARE LEARNINMG

_Quack:_ learninmg

_KiNkY:_ SHUT

_Possessive:_ if she's "learninmg" then why aren't you?

_KiNkY:_ because i dont care rn

_Underestimated:_ whole mood

_mOtHeR:_ you're both in French, right?

_KiNkY:_ yeah???

_mOtHeR:_ maybe you'll hear someone else fucking above you

_Quack:_ YESSSS MARTHA!!!!

_Possessive:_ HAHA

_KiNkY:_ I HATE EVERYONE

_KiNkY:_ NOW INCLUDING MARTHA

_mOtHeR:_ sure jan

**_mOtHeR has gone offline_ **

_Underestimated:_ is she coming for my Meme Artist title

_KiNkY:_ i'm gonna blow up the school

_Quack:_ you coming for JD's title??

_Possessive:_ everyone is going for each other's titles

_KiNkY:_ me and JD are gonna team up to blow this place up

_Underestimated:_ JD and I*

_KiNkY:_ SHUT UP BETTY

_Underestimated:_ no

**_KiNkY has gone offline_ **

_Quack:_ that was easy

_Underestimated:_ oh shit

_Underestimated:_ gotta go fast

**_Underestimated has gone offline_ **

_Quack:_ w h a t 

_Possessive:_ vERONICA JUST CAME TO STUDY HALL AND  D R A G G E D  BETTY OUT

_Quack:_ HSLKSDLKJ

_Possessive:_ I CAN JUST HEAR SCREAMING

_Possessive:_ I DONT KNOW WHOS SCREAMING THOUGH

_Possessive:_ its stopped

_Quack:_ oh god

_Possessive:_ oh god

_Possessive:_ coach has just pulled ronnie away to the office

_Quack:_ karma

_Possessive:_ Betty's came back in and she looks so smug

_Underestimated:_ Ronica can't catch these hands

_Quack:_ are you hurt?

_Underestimated:_ nah, she's hella weak

_Bottom:_ i have many things to say rn

_Bottom:_ but thats for later

_Bottom:_ is Ronnie okay?

_Underestimated:_ she's fine

_Underestimated:_ just suspended most likely

_Bottom:_ okay

_Bottom:_ now...

_Bottom:_ HEATHER

_Possessive:_ uh oh

_Quack:_ not today satan

**_Possessive has gone offline_ **

**_Quack has gone offline_ **

 

 


End file.
